I thought that I should finish my Work camp posts with this one which is supposed to be like a conclusion of my experience but I really think that I should start with it. With probably the most important thing that happened to me at this work camp.

An year ago or may be earlier I watched this “Waking life” movie for the first time. Movie full of questions that disturb my peace all the time. One of the scenes in this movie was an accidental meeting between the main character and a girl. Probably my favourite scene. They just bundle into each other, apologized politely without even meeting glances and separated. Such an usual event which happens to people all the time. The girl went back to initiate a conversation with the guy. Asking him the question why do people do this all the time. They behave like ants, walking, stopping, doing things in autopilot regime. No “real human moments”, nothing really humane required of them.   They agreed that neither of them wanted to act as an ant. Good beginning.

I do not want to be an ant neither. But most of the time I am. How is a prepared dinner exactly in 7 p.m. more important than a good conversation with a friend accidentally met in the street? I’m sure that the dinner could wait, nobody would be hurt. But I never act like this. Always prefer to do my job and to leave the fun for the future. Foolish decision.

What I probably liked most at the work camp was the person who I was there. I liked myself there. I was a bit ant there as well, but not so much. There were bright moments of awakening when I realized that being always organized and precise could not be the first priority in my life. Actually it can be but poor me if I allow this to happen.

There were quite a lot of ‘real human moments’ . No fake virtual communication, almost no information sources, no wasting time in meaningless activities like watching tv, surfing internet, shopping therapy etc. Instead of this – hours face-to-face conversations, bonfire sessions J, working together, cooking for each other, helping each other, enjoying nature, a bit traveling, having fun, laughter, joy… Yes, this is the way I imagine real human moments. This is what I would like to have more in my life.

Someone even tried to imagine their life like this. This group or part of it living like this for longer period of time. What is the problem with me to imagine my life like this? Simple but real life. I have no answer yet but probably it is connected somehow to this “social expectation thing”. Or my own expectations and tasks which I create for myself. I have to do this, this and this. Nothing less. World needs me, people need me… What a stupid, naive and egocentric delusion! With or without my ‘contribution’ world will stay almost the same. Or may be I could be of even greater use to the world and people if I live a happy simple life than this complicated, meaningless kind of existence…

Enough for today. It’s time for a long refreshing simple walk.